Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Confession

It has been 2 weeks since I rolled into the state of Missouri and unlocked the front door of my new home.  Two weeks of experiencing hot temperatures, humidity that feels like I'm breathing underwater, and--even more horrifically--mosquitoes.  Lest I paint it to be a completely negative picture, it's not all bad, not at all.  There is greenery all around, and the sight of acres of mature trees is beautiful.  Lightening bugs bring a little bit of whimsical delight to my evenings, as do my neighbors cats that are allowed outside for a few hours at dusk.  I've enjoyed some mini-adventures with my mother.  Experiencing our relationship face to face has warmed my soul.

And yet...

Time for a confession:  I'm scared.  Scared that I won't find meaningful work.  Scared that I only traded locations and that my life will continue to seemingly go nowhere.

That fear has limited my stepping out, ensuring that my life won't move forward!  Kind of silly I suppose.  But here I am, acknowledging it.  Sometimes recognizing what it is I'm doing helps me take ownership of the situation and nudges me into change.

Confession:  I have been apathetic.
Confession:  I have the tools to change.

In my next post I'll be reiterating what it is that God has called me to, as a reminder to myself, but also to prompt me forward.  Pursuing who God had has designed me to be and to step into it.

See you soon!